Hello Tom

Hello Tom Eddie and I met Tom in Grade 8. Tom’s mother and step dad were hard-core born again Christians in addition to working for Amway (I wonder what GOD thinks about pyramid schemes?). He used to have to attend church almost every night and when he got in trouble his mother used to hit him with a riding crop, poor bastard. The end result was an angry kid who was obsessed with destroying property and always seemed about 2 seconds away from totally losing it. Since Eddie was a total instigator and I was bit of an enabler this led to trouble for Tom, and much hilarity for us.

We started by watching Tom smash the windows at our public school with a 2×4. Breaking windows really made Tom happy, he would smile from ear to ear as we made our escape. After a few weeks we moved to watching Tom setting the dumpster’s at school on fire, that was more fun since we got to hide and wait for the fire trucks to come and put it out. Then we used to get Tom to light the plastic garbage cans on the public baseball diamonds on fire, they took 30 min or so to burn/melt and were fun to watch.

Eddie’s disdain of people gradually started to rub off on Tom and he starting getting a little more personal. He went to a large apartment parking lot one night and slow punctured one tire in every car. When our science teacher gave him a bad grade he tossed a rock through his window during a dinner party.

It seemed the tighter the constraints he had a home the worse he became, we started to ditch him all the time because he would have crazy freak-outs. Then one day we found out his family was moving to Brazil to indoctrinate South America for Amway. We said we would keep in touch (well I did, Eddie could give a shit) but that was pre-facebook so I never found out what happened to that kid.

One thought on “Hello Tom

  1. Sounds a lot like me and some guys I knew when I was a teenager. Lacking alcohol and girls, the next best thing was destruction of private property. We even had a name for it – “hell-riding”. Oh, those were the days.

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