Pizza Money

Pizza Money I got home after school and heard my mother talking on the phone to my Aunt(fake) Sarah sounding concerned. I say fake aunt because we had no family in Canada so my parents friends became our aunts/uncles and their kids our cousins. Anyway she explained that my little cousin Sam (grade 4) had his pizza day ruined at school because all the pizza money was stolen from the portable his class was in.

Sam’s school happened to be between my house and Eddie’s so I was pretty sure they had something to do with it. After dinner I headed down to Eddie’s, when I got there Tyler and him were lounging on the couch smoking weed and eating pizza.

Me: “Did you bastards steal children’s pizza money and buy pizza??”
Eddie: “Dunno did we?”
Tyler smiles broadly…

The night before Tyler and Eddie were wandering around and decided to break into the portables at little Sam’s public school. Tyler like to use a crowbar that left marks, that way he could remember which one he had already broken into. After getting into the room he noticed all the desks had envelopes with 10.00 each in them labeled pizza money. Eddie came up with the idea to take the money out but leave the envelopes so that the kids wouldn’t know until it was too late.

Tyler: “How do you know?”
Me: “My little cousin Sam was in that class!”
Tyler smiling even more: “Did they cry?”
Eddie: “I hope they cried, little fuckers!”
Tyler: “This is the best pizza I have ever tasted”

I have to admit the pizza did taste delicious.

2 thoughts on “Pizza Money

  1. You must be pretty stupid to post such a criminal confession publicly. If I were Eddie I’d beat your ass for incriminating me like that.

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